The room... promising. me scrambling to get my bikinis on.
D.C?? What happened? You promised so much, but let us down so badly…. I’d like to say its not your fault, but it is. We did our bit. We showed up keen and ready to go. We even flew in to make sure we had enough time to enjoy your city. As I sit here blogging on the Amtrak train out of town, it seems pretty definite that, at this stage, barring some unfortunate turn of events which means I become a u.s senator or the Australian ambassador, I/we wont be back.
We arrive at your hotel nice and early on day one after you traumatised lauren with turbulence from take off to touch down (yes im blaming you for that!), not to mention the kid in the row in front who had the deaf mom who obviously grew up haaving to shout at her to get a response who WOULD NOT SHUT UP!, to look out the window of our much improved hotel’s window to discover a beautiful big pool with what going on? A pool party! We were pretty pumped, as that seemed the perfect way to relax and unwind with a few beers after Chicago worked us over so much (in a good way). We get our boardies and bikinis on, me going topless, and headed straight down and found somewhere to set up shop. After a quick dip and a coors light or two, I started to notice something about the majority of the party’s attendees. The guys seemed to be wearing hotpants and greeting each other with a bit more than a handshake or a high 5. Not that theres anything wrong with it but you led us unawares straight into a gay pool party! The guy that I liked best was wearing a bright pink mini skirt with leopard print bikini. We sat there for a while with a few more beers and cocktails contemplating whether or not just to get smashed,before deciding to leave the pool party for those whom it was intended and setting off to find some food. I would of let you off the hook, if it had of been the end of it, but how much more did you have up your sleeve?
Ok, so we thought wed try and find some food. Your map is useless so we thought wed pretty much just walk out the front door of the hotel and take left. ‘we’ll find something’, we thought. We walked through what seemed like another murder town, USA, before stumbling across ‘Fish Wharf’. to the unaware, this place really needs to be experienced to be believed. Thousands of people jostling themselves into position to buy anything from fish to crab to jumbo shrimp, practically straight from the trawler and into the boiler or steamer to be cooked for you ‘while-u-wait’. we walked through the car park that resembled a demolition derby arena and continued on past the bar with some crazy hardcore rap blaring out of a monster p.a system, with rastas out the front staring at us like the honkies that we were. It really wasn’t a place for innocent, clueless little backpackers (white) like us so lauren snuck a photo before anyone had achance to steal the camera and we were on our way. I must say though, we never felt unsafe so much as we felt uncomfortable. Tho they def were eyeing off the camera.
We were so damn hungry but were too scared to get ourselves caught up in that ridiculousness, so we found the first of few all you can eat joints near by. This place was unbelievable. There was no way you could sample everything you wanted to, there waas just too much good stuff. Crab, ‘shrimp’, chicken, ribs, roast beef, fish, whatever you wanted, it was there and it was fresh. We walked back home satisfied and were pretty pleased with what you had dished up at this point. We got home and the shitty pop music with a heavier, quicker bass beat layered over the top was still playing but we could handle it coz it was only for the one night….. Or was it?
Woke up the next morning keen to check out some of the most famous sites/sights in the u.s. little did we know at time of booking, that it was labour day weekend. Yet another weekend when americans drape themselves in shirts that look like they were cut directly out of an american flag (isn’t that a capital offence?) and make the pilgrimage to the home of independence, liberty and patriotism. We got some good shots of the capitol, the monument etc. because we got out early while the rest of Washington was still hooking into their bagels and waffles the size of our old wooden dining table. By around midday though it was absolute overload though. Too many crowds and too many families all colour coordinated either with the stars and stripes or the college football team they support. I don’t quite understand the urge to display, every time im out of the house, the college I went to but they are dead set mad for it over here. At first its funny but after the thousandth family with mom, dad and the 6 kids all dressed from head to toe with ‘boise state university’ plastered across the front, it becomes a bit sad. We battled through to the Whitehouse, then had a crack at the national air and space museum but threw the towel in after the first floor because the place was teaming with loud kids and people that were just annoying the crap out of us both by that time…. that and our legs were sore.
Got home and what seemed like exactly the same song from the night before was on constant rotation down at the pool. Yay. Here we go again!
Tried to find a place to have a drink and some food but that was impossible. It never helps when you call the hotel desk to ask if theres anywhere good to drink and eat and the response you get is a flat ‘no’. so we opted for the hotel restaurant. We had to. It wasn’t too bad I spose.
The next day was a carbon copy of the first, complete with same song blairing through our window till well after dark. The only difference was the dinner we had was the worst food I can remember eating. But we had walked 45mins to get there so we both choked it down while a sweaty, rude waiter proceeded to explain the tipping system in america while at the same time sounding like begging for a few bucks because he knew that his service was shit. We still gave him a fiver pretty much out of pity.
Not talking anymore about you, Washington. Were gone and we wont be back. You couldn’t feed us and shelter us satisfactorily. How were you ever gonna entertain us?
Philly will be a breeze compared to this.
Sorry about the rant guys! Lauren is going to post the Philadelphia part so that should be a lot more positive and well written. Probably still as long tho…
The view from our window. you could understand our excitement. you should also try and imagine kanye west tracks shaking the glass in said window.
Fish Wharf. it was really like playing spot the honky.
it took us about 50 attempts to get this pic right. angles and whatnot. and cluess american kooks constantly poking their heads into shot.
just to prove we were there.
downtown d.c. boring!
after spending a day and a half in packed museums and observing people in general, it was quite fitting when we learnt that humans are 60% genetically similar to bananas. at least bananas dont have voices.
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